无

我好想他。

不知道，此时此刻，他在做什么？

不知道，他有没有想我？

还是，已经把我抛到九霄云外了。

大年初一，泪水直流。

如果清醒时让我那么的想念你，那么我宁愿永远醉着。

至少感觉不到那种痛，至少感觉不到寂寞。
想哭，却又不能哭。
想笑，却又不能笑。

我到底是怎么了。

不应该对你那么依赖
不应该对你说那些话

想你，想你，疯狂般的想念你。
爱你，爱你，痴情般的爱着你。

这种感觉就是爱 - 曾之乔

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] 0 plays

《这种感觉就是爱》

当散步时会想到你
当游荡时会想到你
当你的脸孔会出现在我的梦里
当你的声音会出现在我的耳际
我才知道，你已经住在心底

当散步时又想到你
当游荡时又想到你
当你的脸孔又出现在我的梦里
当你的声音又出现在我的耳际
我才惊觉，我已经被你占据

当手机里没有你的呼唤
当电话里没有你的留言
当你的身影，不再陪伴在我身边
我才知道，你已经是我最大的依恋

当我习惯你的存在
当我害怕你的离开
当我们小别的时候，我痴痴等待
当我们吵架的时候，我默默发呆
我才知道，这种感受就是爱

Get over it.

At times like this, I really wanna call the asylum. And hopefully they’ll inject something into her and make her stop all these nonsense. It has been decades, seriously. And you still have to harp on it, every single time. It’s like there’s a hidden bomb in her brain, ready to explode any minute.

Every single time, you watch anything on tv that somehow relates to your miserable past, you just have to explode. Making the entire family suffer with you. It seems as though that makes you happy.
Ever wonder why all of us never want to stay? Wonder why both your children are in China? Wonder why I lock myself up in my room everyday? Yes, it’s because of you. Because you make our lives miserable. Because you make us feel that staying, will just give us misery.

Oh for fuck’s sake. Get over it! It’s been decades. Stop acting like a kid that lost his candy. Every single time you act up, all of us have to suffer with you. Constantly checking that you’re not in your red jacket and attempting to jump down at every possible chance.

For 18 years, you’ve been doing this to me. And people ask me why I can be so indifferent. Remember the story about the boy who cried wolf? That’s how it is right now. The first few times, we’ll believe you, take pity on you. But when it just gets too frequent, I’m sorry, I just don’t freaking care anymore.

And you think, after 15 mins of throwing tantrums, you can just wake up, and ask me why is your bed so messy. Ask me who messed up your bed when you were the one, behaving like a lunatic in the asylum a mere 5 minutes ago.

I’m starting to think if she has a split personality. Whatever it is, I don’t know, and I don’t care.

P.s. To you who’s reading this? I need you.

Fantasy realms.

I can’t believe I downloaded tumblr on my phone. I can’t believe I am actually typing a post on tumblr, after an entire year and a half.

I can’t believe I’m already halfway through my poly life. I can’t believe my results are still as suckish as ever.

There were a few times where I had this sudden urge to blog, but laziness and ‘cant-be-bothered’ evolved into evil witches and took over me.

So yeah. Now that I’m back(hopefully), I’ll try and have regular updates on my buzz-free life and…well~ him. :)

So maybe my life revolved into a new fantasy.

Open both tabs. Then lay on bed, and act like you’re in a sad music video. Just do it.

Tab 1 and Tab 2

DO IT.

(Source: francisboba, via libecchio)

in the realm of boredom

hello there.

yes, as you can see from my title of this post, i am bored. was supposed to have speech communication tutorial today but the class got canceled. and so, i am not stoning at the library, refreshing facebook, twitter every 5 seconds. even though i know these two pages have automatic updates. well, i’m bored. lol.

meeting sharon in orchard later. gonna go shopping for her dress and mr ho’s shirt. i’m thinking of….. letting jonathan try on the shirt before buying it. :) no harm done right? LOL. we’ll see how it goes. but i wonder if the effect will be the same… hmmmmm.

it’s 1240 now, which means i have another, okay at least one hour before i leave NP. because alleyne carlinda is simply too lazy to take the bus, and so she wants to take the cab instead. i hate myself. although there is a teeny weeny part of me that has the desire to take the bus. LOL. at least if i take the bus, i get to leave school earlier. and i’m already yawning here.

someone’s eating macdonalds in the library. the aroma of fries is making me hungry.

conjuring look-alikes.

it’s been almost half a year ever since i started my journey at NP. yet, i’m not getting used to it here. the past four years in macpherson was just magical, and nothing could ever replace that. i know that this is only the beginning of NP, and who knows, three years later, i might say the same thing about NP. but right now, macpherson is the only place where i want to be.

it’s been six months at NP, but it just doesnt feel right. everyday, when i get up, i wish i am taking 154 going the other way, back to macpherson, where my heart belongs. but i know that it’s never going to happen. i would give anything, absolutely anything just to have those moments back, even mass comm. i wouldnt mind waking up at 530 in the morning, reaching school before the sun rises. am i crazy? yes. but who cares? i loved it.

my mind hasnt grown accustomed to NP yet, and i know it will be long before it does. ever since i started school, i’ve always had this weird illusion that people walking around in school are people from macpherson. i would see people from my class, 4A, 4C and even people that i’m not close with. even those whom i seldom talk to, would just look as if they’re all around NP, as if nothing has ever changed. take today, i looked down, from BLK 56, for a fragment of a second, i thought i saw Kok Chun. got excited for a second, and then my heart sinks, only to remember that he is in TP now. it never has to be your best friend that you illusion, it can even be toilet cleaner. because all these people, make up my life, make up macpherson.

i wonder if these illusions are ever going to stop. whether or not it does or doesnt, i know i have to live with it. two and a half more years in this cold, and unforgiving land. i dont know if i’ll ever get used to it. and the people here. will i turn into them? or will i continue to be the one that’s different from everyone else? i’m thinking the latter. even though i’ve stayed at macpherson for four years, i never “turned” into them. i was happy being the different one. and so i guess it’ll be the same in NP. the different one. i guess these people should either start getting used to me, or, like all cowards do, reject something that is new to them.

saw chang ming in school today. when i saw him, it was like, a burst of excitement, y’know. it’s like, you’re alone in this foreign place and suddenly, you meet someone you know. wanted to catch up with him, but he had another class to go to. he seems like he’s fitting in very well. hah, am i the only who isn’t? i don’t really care. because i know perfectly well that to fit in in my class and course, i have to turn into one of them. i’m sorry, but that is just not me. i will never degrade myself like that.

meeting sharon tomorrow, and that’s the only thing i’m look forward to. pathetic much?

HEEEEELLLOOO VACATION! <3

as of today, i’m officially on vacation. woots!

turned insane last night trying to study medsoc. woke up earlier to study instead. wasn’t as bad as i thought. at least, whatever ms sonia said were important came out. i think i might just pass. although i screw up big time on the questions of television. heh. whatever. it’s over.

was planning to walk home from ngee ann today after the paper. however, it started to rain halfway through the paper and by the time i finished, it was a thunderstorm. despite the fact that i know i’ll get soaked, i tried walking back. grave mistake. my shoes and jeans were soaked even before i i left the gate of ngee ann. continued walking until the next bustop. by then, my jeans was wet right up to the knees. hah. gave up and hailed a cab home. mission failed. i’ll try again next time. HAH.

came home, watched the latest episode of “Can’t Buy Me Love”. i just love Charmaine Sheh. she can make any character look cute. took a nap after and woke up at six thirty. lazed about in bed, continued my Healing Hands 2 and had dinner.

not much of an eventful day, but it’s good enough. :D

6 WEEKS OF VACATION, HERE I COME!!!!!!!